When I woke up with my ideas I could not believe it, it was like a ghost its haunting its satan, it come up to me like really really close and after that all went dark, I have seen battlefields of demons coming I have seen the future, I have seen World of Warcraft, its crazy, the dream is real and so are you when you wake up it will be all an illusion you never knew that you existed you never knew that you were real, life evolves in cycles we spin around like crazy its all chaos in here, we go we leave we come back we pray we never stop working on ourselves even if we have bosses, a good boss will always make you trust him remember that, have faith, trust everybody trust human race, its all we got.
I’m here to type back at you guys, it has been a long week with long hours of waiting, I got Covid-19 me and my family also , we are quaratined right now, we still have about 6 days until we can go out but its ok. We gonna see people hate that’s all I understand this people may hate but its ok.
People can hate us for what we are they can hate us for even what we have but it’s not enough, I need more, and the only thing I can do about it is to procrastinate, I am not lying to you guys, this is it the real shit, I can write all day about this and it can be ok, trust me on this one it will work.
Most people like to get comfortable with you and that is fine but until you start believing in yourself you ain’t going to have a life, start believing in yourself and everything will be fine guys.
I love you all and as my parents told me I am sick , a malicious disease came over me and its infecting, we are all waiting for the days to come.
Yeah this is my time this is me I’m recording this shit and this is the new me refreshed, refreshing and clean as hell. go on move on be on. Go Get It.
Ha Ha Ha
The one music I like is rap so if you feel me check this out, we going wild tonight, get your move on and press space lyrics for the end.
Yeah we good but its been a long long road, until now, I got this this shit is old we on it, but I’m moving on and feeling better than before.
Than you for your childish support and overwhelming enthuziasm, we get back on track, no errors this time we move, Jesus Christ men.
We got this online shit by the neck, ha ha ha go get it real bro, we got this.
Everybody has a choice and the choices you make define you, for all the people out there who are struggling with depression and anxiety and fear and anger and cruelty. For all the people who suffer in this world, I tell you now, you have a choice to change your life, so stand out stand tall, talk about your anxiety, talk about your problems, talk about what hurts you. Talk about you, come out stand out talk about yourself, let me see you let me feel you let me trust you let me hear you…
Let me know you, let me know the real you, let your words be fluent and sound like the wind against the shore of a coastline.
I was born in Romania on 14 June 1992. I am but a kid who has grown up so fast it never really bothered me to ask myself where did I go wrong. I was born in a military hospital in Bucharest.
I was furious and frustrated I suffered for years and years without any hope, until one day someone came up to me and said, hey, bro, are you ok? I know you, you are not crazy, come be my friend, so from that day everything changed in my life, I stopped watching TV I stopped lying to myself that I was a bad person and a cheater, I stopped stealing money. I stopped ruining my life.
All good, until one day I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. I was devastated, I was a wreck I had a panic attack on the spot, I yelled to the world and to god why would you do this to me I’m only 18 years old. But then I found the cure, and doctors told me it was psychiatric medication… I started taking drugs, prescription drugs, I still take them today, it felt good for a while until you get the side effects. Those suck.
I had side effects from my medication and I think I still have some of those even today. I’m 28 now and I don’t have a child, I’m not married I had only four girlfriends all my life, two when I was sober and two when I was on medication, doctors told me I am bipolar and that I need treatment that I have anxiety and depression attacks and sometimes become a maniac…
Bipolar disease from what my doctor told me consists of having mental breakdowns with depression and maniacal episodes. I don’t feel like I’m a maniac right now, to be honest, but anyway, the doctor also told me that I have psychotic episodes and need treatment, medical treatment for a long time, and that was back in 2014. It’s been 6 almost 7 years since I take medical treatment for depression, anxiety, and mania.
Its been a while while I was on this medication, sometimes it was getting me high sometimes it was making me sleepy and sometimes I just feel very cold.
The coldness feeling that I get from time to time comes from the artificially created medication that I use, they are not natural, I mean my medication is not plant-based it’s artificially created by man to stop some functions of the brain and body from going crazy.
They say my medication is the only thing keeping me normal and sane. But I do not agree to that, I think what is keeping me normal and sane is the fact that I make myself busy every day, I write, I stream video games, and I keep a journal, these are the things that make me normal. Not medication, they say I can’t be normal anymore because I had a psychotic episode, I say they are crazy, the doctors are crazy to look what they did with COVID-19, the doctors are going insane, they are hallucinating, a person who keeps a journal, streams, and records video games, and writes on a blog is not crazy, he’s an intellectual, and I will get to the bottom of this godforsaken truth.
They tortured me in hospitals for 6 years and tell me I am still sick this in going in the wrong direction my friends, how much can we lie? how much can we manipulate people? how much can we keep them under control? how much and for how many years can we keep people dumb and asleep while the big guys go out and have fun, how much can we as humans kill, forget, and blame one another for our own made misery, our own made hate, and our own made diseases, this has to stop one day, and I will be there the day it ends…
I have been prominent with this fact lately that many people walk around mindlessly going all over the place where they shouldn’t actually be, like myself, for instance, I was down I was breaking, I was on the deepest pothole on the verge of a mental collapse I was everything you shouldn’t be, but I survive right? I survived what was and I will survive what is coming, therefore, I’m still here, I want to ask you some questions alright?
What if your life started from old age and continued to birth?
What if your mother does not love you?
What if your life was meant to please others?
What if I told you that you actually have 0 power of will?
What if I said some nasty things about you behind your back?
What if we will not ever find true love in this world?
What if we are actually aliens who have been born to earth to populate it to give this planet a meaning?
What if we have never experienced this before? What if I am Don Juan?
What if women like and want me for being tall and handsome and big and juicy?
What if I told you that this was a joke and you shouldn’t have read this at all?
What if this world in its chaos will sometimes deliver the most beautiful flowers to us at the best unexpected time and in the most unexpected place?
What if this world was made to create other worlds, what if I am beautiful?
Why do I have so many questions you should ask? Well I am here, breathing, alive, and I’m not rude to anybody so it’s true chaos out there there is nothing under control, nothing at all, we just fly like mosquitoes on our nearest target or victim, we just fly aimlessly into nothing, we will collapse from nothingness if we continue this way, but it’s all about cause and effect, isn’t it? Right, we cause something, therefore, we suffer the consequences of our own actions, this should be repeatable enough.
Have a great day ladies and gentlemen!
Sometimes is better to a hut up and close your eyes, turn the other cheek around just so you don’t hurt people who loved you, not in my case naah, words can hurt and will hurt if you let them.
Sometimes is better to just mind your own business and don’t hurt anybody sometimes it’s better to be the sheep than the Shepherd or just make it look that way anyway, nobody knows what you are thinking right? Well, we all are here on earth to prove something right?
We are here to prove who’s the alpha male, to prove yourself to the community to prove you are the best, ain’t we alpha males?
Well, we all would want that, but what if we ain’t got it in us to be the alpha male? What if we are the sheep and the alpha male is out there roaming around, what if we ain’t good enough for them?
I’m here to prove you wrong, you are good enough you just don’t know it yet, you just let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good, and when things get hard you look for something to blame like a big shadow that you see on different people’s faces.
You just do that because you think you ain’t good enough for this world that we live in, and I’m here to tell you that you are probably right, you may not be good enough today, but I promise you if you work hard on your goals and dreams you might make it one day, maybe that day is not today but someday you might actually make it and you will shout to the world „Thank You God” because without you I would be nothing at all.
This sums up my response to, sometimes it’s better to shut up than give in to people who don’t value or respect you, just shut up and show them your results instead of just talking about results, just show them 👍
Keep the peace brothers and sisters because I’m coming home ❤
The disease of the century is only in our minds, we ourselves got to clean it and if we don’t we will stay sick forever, I myself am struggling from this disease trying to get out it’s such a big pain to me that I have to write this I have been badly hurt from my family and our ancestors we live so rapidly you don’t even notice I was there, do you?
This is for my niggas all around the globe we hear you talk we hear you speak we hear you shout from the bottom of your nerves, we hear you cry we hear you ask for help, we need your help, we need your hand, we need your rally for cry, we hear you sleep we hear you beg for mercy we hear you cry out for help when your mouth is wide shut, we can hear your nerves crying and cracking, we hear your mouth that never stops speaking and we are listening to it.
We know you are there, we know who to trust and who not to trust we can hear your agony we hear your despair we are here to set your free.
We are here to free you from your mind your ego, your selfishness, and your thoughts we can hear your thoughts crying for help and asking for forgiveness we hear your mutual understanding about this new concept of yours.
We hear you Mephisto, we are your tribe now, come and seek us, seek our shelter our gifts and our Narnia, come sit on my lap and cry for mother nature to forgive you for all your sins, cry for mother nature, cry for mother nature, cry for mother nature, cry us for help.
Sometimes survival mechanisms pop-out into nothing, sometimes survival mechanisms control us, we are still part animals part mammals part human, part cyborg, we use this technology for our benefit, not for our destruction, we need to benefit from this, either financially or horoscopically, we need to get things done like right now.
We must wake up, wake up from this matrix, wake up to the universe, wake up to the star seed, we are the star seeds and we must survive at all costs, we must reproduce we must flourish we must live to see another day we must get up in the morning and go to work, work for your cause, work for your ambition, work for your inner being, work on anything that you love and care about.
We must go to work, that is the pain I feel. That I have to work to survive, if I didn’t work I would be a loser with no job or a car or an apartment, I would be homeless, that is my biggest fear and regret anyway, that I would end up homeless without a car, a wife or a job.
This writing keeps me up late at night knowing that everything is going to be alright and I don’t have to starve to death in my late years.
My parents will leave me they will go to the countryside they might die also, maybe unexpectedly or maybe from old age, I don’t know.
I wish my parents will live to see me get well and have a home a family and children.
Wish my family would see me as a father and not a kid, I wish they would understand that I am not like a common kid, I’m not like everybody, I am myself, I am a Starseed.
I wish I could tell you guys about this, in my late teens I had a mental breakdown and from that my parents thought I was crazy and they took me to the hospital several times until now and they think I am a lunatic and they yell at me and shout because I am different from them because I have my own cause to fight for because I have my own pain, my own karma, my own life, I can be independent you know.
I live life day by day trying to build something for my own, trying to build an empire from the ashes of a forgotten world, a forgotten country, and a forgotten man, I don’t care if anybody loves me, the pain I feel today is breaking me down to bits.
Life is hard when you have no one to talk to so this is why I am sending you this message, I live with my parents and my brother in an apartment in Romania, my dad is stupid, my mom is great, my brother ignores me, without regret.
My dad is shouting, he thinks I’m aloof, but to me, my dad is always the best, I still love him but he has some issues and problems he’s kind of old now and has a very negative thinking method, he is always ready to go to war he always wants to brag about me and how much I smoke, he says that I smoke his money, that I don’t earn enough for me, that I am a wreck and crazy and stuff like that.
I will always love my dad no matter what, and I know in my heart that he is a good man but I have to keep some distance from him because I think he is a dangerous man.
He hit me once and I never want to go back to that, he shouts at me but I never raise my voice at him, I never say a word, you don’t get what you give, you can always get what you deserve.
This is the end of this story I hope you liked it.