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Awaken to the Truth

As I come back and come closer to the truth I realize that my life was a long road of lies, each by each and one by one we come up fuck up and never ever give up, as I try to maintain my sanity these people really mess me up, how? I don’t know I have fallen asleep one day and the next day boom, its all over again, the life cycle really messes me up, its a circle of happenings that go on and on and on ,I don’t know if this will ever end in my lifetime, I hope this shall be the best I can be like no other, I want to come alive again and this time I will never be fallen into place, my heart was broken inside but now I know that the pieces of my heart that were broken were the ones that be needed to put into place.

I’m retired now at 28 because of my disease and this time it will work I promise, I was coming back home from my job and realizing I did my job was not enough. I’m a wreck and a big one.

My job was to type obnoctious times more and more data like I was a machine, I hated my job and for that I realize now the truth behind the lies.

The truth is I don’t need a job to get better all I need is my family and friends to get better all I needed was support from them. All I needed was to relax and enjoy the ride instead of just farming jobs all day long.

New Vintage Post

I’m here to type back at you guys, it has been a long week with long hours of waiting, I got Covid-19 me and my family also , we are quaratined right now, we still have about 6 days until we can go out but its ok. We gonna see people hate that’s all I understand this people may hate but its ok.

People can hate us for what we are they can hate us for even what we have but it’s not enough, I need more, and the only thing I can do about it is to procrastinate, I am not lying to you guys, this is it the real shit, I can write all day about this and it can be ok, trust me on this one it will work.

Most people like to get comfortable with you and that is fine but until you start believing in yourself you ain’t going to have a life, start believing in yourself and everything will be fine guys.

I love you all and as my parents told me I am sick , a malicious disease came over me and its infecting, we are all waiting for the days to come.

Get jabbin or get going

 Yeh men this is all about us, all about or freedom, all about our life, this is magnificent, this is the real thing, go on, move on, get a better life, get a better job, change your life change your perspective on life, change everything about you, this is for you men go change, forever in peace, go on, make a move, be the best, do what you can do and you see yourself doing right right now.

Be the best version of yourself, go be supreme, go be a lover, go be a fighter, go be anything you want to be in this life because this is your moment and don’t ruin it, it will be all ok trust me on this one, I am a motivational speaker and I know.

Go out there and do right never come back and run forever. This is peace, thank you for your kindly attention.

Got to talk about it

 

Yesterday while I was home I had the worst nightmare, I dreamed about being the Pudge of Warcraft, I dreamed about the game, I dreamed about Blizzard Entertainment. It was bad it was very very bad, it was the worst nightmare I ever had I thought I was an abomination or some sort, it was awful I thought I was Stitches, God Damn, nightmares everywhere, people dream about it but don’t talk about it and I think that is the saddest part.

Open up bro what could possibly go wrong it is your life you are living it make money out of it live to your true potential, stop crying and make it work, nothing lasts forever not even your own life, so man up and get going get jabbin and get going, go on, move on, build an empire, built your own house, build your own home, make your life worth living, isn’t this what this life is all about?

Crying won’t make it easy on you, go for fuck sake and make a living, get a job, pay the bills, pay the taxes, go vote, do whatever, bro. it is your responsibility to survive here, and no one else alone.

Be the best or fuck with the rest. Amen.

The slaves of a natural world

 

The guess I have is that we are the slaves of nature, we are here given a purpose in life, our life, we are merely the walk through of nature, nature living inside of us and calling out our name, Asethabalanar, this is my natural name and my birth given name is Gabriel Catalin Baltac, but my true nature calls out for me in the form of Asethabalanar, that is my natural cause and while I still have this natural given Name Asethabalanar I am nothing but the slave of nature the Worker of the great infinite wisdom, I need to read books and explain myself in this form so you can see and watch myself in manifestation of my natural causes.

This is not even a lie or worse the Truth, I live by the worldy name of Gabriel Catalin Baltac but my inner being’s name is Asethabalanar, I don’t know it feels just like I am living those two lives the Agent Smith said to Neo in the Matrix.

I chose to be smart and intelligent

 

Everybody has a choice and the choices you make define you, for all the people out there who are struggling with depression and anxiety and fear and anger and cruelty. For all the people who suffer in this world, I tell you now, you have a choice to change your life, so stand out stand tall, talk about your anxiety, talk about your problems, talk about what hurts you. Talk about you, come out stand out talk about yourself, let me see you let me feel you let me trust you let me hear you…

Let me know you, let me know the real you, let your words be fluent and sound like the wind against the shore of a coastline.

I was born in Romania on 14 June 1992. I am but a kid who has grown up so fast it never really bothered me to ask myself where did I go wrong. I was born in a military hospital in Bucharest.

I was furious and frustrated I suffered for years and years without any hope, until one day someone came up to me and said, hey, bro, are you ok? I know you, you are not crazy, come be my friend, so from that day everything changed in my life, I stopped watching TV I stopped lying to myself that I was a bad person and a cheater, I stopped stealing money. I stopped ruining my life.

All good, until one day I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. I was devastated, I was a wreck I had a panic attack on the spot, I yelled to the world and to god why would you do this to me I’m only 18 years old. But then I found the cure, and doctors told me it was psychiatric medication… I started taking drugs, prescription drugs, I still take them today, it felt good for a while until you get the side effects. Those suck.

I had side effects from my medication and I think I still have some of those even today. I’m 28 now and I don’t have a child, I’m not married I had only four girlfriends all my life, two when I was sober and two when I was on medication, doctors told me I am bipolar and that I need treatment that I have anxiety and depression attacks and sometimes become a maniac…

Bipolar disease from what my doctor told me consists of having mental breakdowns with depression and maniacal episodes. I don’t feel like I’m a maniac right now, to be honest, but anyway, the doctor also told me that I have psychotic episodes and need treatment, medical treatment for a long time, and that was back in 2014. It’s been 6 almost 7 years since I take medical treatment for depression, anxiety, and mania.

Its been a while while I was on this medication, sometimes it was getting me high sometimes it was making me sleepy and sometimes I just feel very cold.

The coldness feeling that I get from time to time comes from the artificially created medication that I use, they are not natural, I mean my medication is not plant-based it’s artificially created by man to stop some functions of the brain and body from going crazy.

They say my medication is the only thing keeping me normal and sane. But I do not agree to that, I think what is keeping me normal and sane is the fact that I make myself busy every day, I write, I stream video games, and I keep a journal, these are the things that make me normal. Not medication, they say I can’t be normal anymore because I had a psychotic episode, I say they are crazy, the doctors are crazy to look what they did with COVID-19, the doctors are going insane, they are hallucinating, a person who keeps a journal, streams, and records video games, and writes on a blog is not crazy, he’s an intellectual, and I will get to the bottom of this godforsaken truth.

They tortured me in hospitals for 6 years and tell me I am still sick this in going in the wrong direction my friends, how much can we lie? how much can we manipulate people? how much can we keep them under control? how much and for how many years can we keep people dumb and asleep while the big guys go out and have fun, how much can we as humans kill, forget, and blame one another for our own made misery, our own made hate, and our own made diseases, this has to stop one day, and I will be there the day it ends…

For the Love of Money

 

For the love of money, there is nothing much to say about money I got links on my blog you can find them to download money making programs and earn passive income, the love of money is real most people like money for the things that they can buy, there is nothing to be ashamed of, money will come to you if you respect your promises, if you come home with a broken heart and pockets empty then it is bad for you, I feel like this because I also know how it is to have nothing in your pockets, I also live on the verge of existence, I am broke but a cute broke guy.

I need more money to supply for my needs but money as we speak it won’t come to me if I spend it on useless things like love cars and females, I don’t need no prayer to bring me wealth, all I need is a good sense of humor and pockets full of cash, people need money to survive, I need money for my own pleasure, I only need the money I can buy, but the money I spend is useless to me, only love for the big boys.

Ok so money is a necessity in these days, money is very versatile money is luxury money is something you go out late at night for your night shifts to get home and eat your salad because you are vegan.

I’m not saying money is bad I’m just saying that money is useless, if you feel useless then you also love money.

Money is useless for two reasons : one you always have money and two you always need money. You can never have enough money, money is infinite.

You had a bad day ❤️

Every time I see a good luck sign I wonder if that thing is specially made for me, I wonder if I own something, and I think about it day on and day in. I used to think at alot of things, I used to jave a lot of shit on my mind but now its just empty, I can’t think of anything straight up. I had alot of issues growing up as a kid, I had teeth problems and I also had a big head.
As a kid I always liked to climb trees. It was those years before the smartphones were invented. Everybody would go outside and play and I think that is brilliant.
People like me with my disorder have alot of uncommon things to do like , when you go ahopping or go to the casino or eat with friends, they really enjpy a good time, people like me are always furios at something, always raging on and on and on with complete nonsense.
We like to go outside and play, we like to hang out in the club, have sex, enjoy dinner parties and so on.
The complete guide to my profession is skill, a lot of skill, you need this to go up and not stay down, skill is mandatory in my profession.
I will soon start college and I wonder if I am going to do the same things I used to do. Because sometimes I feel like nothing is changed, we are all the same, every time, just like robots.

Romania is my home❤️

Romania is my home, my birth land. I was born in Bucharest on 14 of june 1992. I was born under the sign of the gemini of the zodiac. I am a gemini born june 14 in Romania in the year 1992 I’m 28 at this moment.
I am witing from the park right now.
Its dark, its september. The cold is kicking in. Romania is brutal, Romania is force, we love Romania for its full throttle build. It is the best country of the world. In Romania everything is possible, even bad luck. You can go outside and feel nothing at all. Everybody performs well right here. Even the birds are alive and well, Romania is the land of forgiveness, a great pharaoh was born here in 1992 and thats me🙂 this is my country my birthland and I will do anything necesary to protect it.
Everybody comes and goes but here is just a world of people who just go insane in a blink of an eye they just collapse and wait until they go again in the caroussel.
Romania is the best country if you want to visit sometimes in the woods or the beach they just got everything you need tourism here is just as awkward as usual. They just want to go outside and play. We are here to protect the land, protect Romania and protect ourselves, we do not like people who tell us what to do so we rebel and riot and protest until we go insane. We just think at this moment the way all of people do. We just sit back and go crazy , we start halucinating and please everybody else.

The Road to Zion

Something beautiful is about to happen. Just wait and see. Many people of my generation have been abducted by aliens.
Can you see them? They have been taken by extraterestrials and put to sleep by a magnetic force of the heaven. Zion is a place of wonder is a place just like Azeroth, it keeps on giving even if we take more than we give, it’s just a place of beautiful magic and wonder. Many of us may have been told that we are alone in the universe. Well we are not. There are people here from other dimensions who are waiting for a call back to heaven.
We came, we saw, we conquered. This is veni vidi vici.
We saw, we conquered. That is the point of us all. We are here to spread love not hate so lets all get along. I come from a different world a different dimension and I say fuck them. We don’t need haters so fuck off. Ok when you see me on my bike just quit yelling. We are the people who made this change long time ago. We came to set a higher purpose for our brothers and sisters. We came here to do what nobody else can, we are unique and special we are robots we are human.
The road to zion means that each path you take in life will eventually lead you back to the same place like you were running in circles, everything is a cycle. You come back to see deeper truths 🙂