Awaken to the Truth

As I come back and come closer to the truth I realize that my life was a long road of lies, each by each and one by one we come up fuck up and never ever give up, as I try to maintain my sanity these people really mess me up, how? I don’t know I have fallen asleep one day and the next day boom, its all over again, the life cycle really messes me up, its a circle of happenings that go on and on and on ,I don’t know if this will ever end in my lifetime, I hope this shall be the best I can be like no other, I want to come alive again and this time I will never be fallen into place, my heart was broken inside but now I know that the pieces of my heart that were broken were the ones that be needed to put into place.

I’m retired now at 28 because of my disease and this time it will work I promise, I was coming back home from my job and realizing I did my job was not enough. I’m a wreck and a big one.

My job was to type obnoctious times more and more data like I was a machine, I hated my job and for that I realize now the truth behind the lies.

The truth is I don’t need a job to get better all I need is my family and friends to get better all I needed was support from them. All I needed was to relax and enjoy the ride instead of just farming jobs all day long.

New Vintage Post

I’m here to type back at you guys, it has been a long week with long hours of waiting, I got Covid-19 me and my family also , we are quaratined right now, we still have about 6 days until we can go out but its ok. We gonna see people hate that’s all I understand this people may hate but its ok.

People can hate us for what we are they can hate us for even what we have but it’s not enough, I need more, and the only thing I can do about it is to procrastinate, I am not lying to you guys, this is it the real shit, I can write all day about this and it can be ok, trust me on this one it will work.

Most people like to get comfortable with you and that is fine but until you start believing in yourself you ain’t going to have a life, start believing in yourself and everything will be fine guys.

I love you all and as my parents told me I am sick , a malicious disease came over me and its infecting, we are all waiting for the days to come.

I just got banned on Tinder

 

I just got banned on Tinder after paying for Tinder Plus a subscription that has gotten out of my pocket 100 RON and that is it, they just banned me for no reason I was just scrolling and my account got banned for not respecting their policy after I paid them the money after a few days they just deleted my account, this is what you get for trusting shady companies.

Play with my feelings

 

I’m a cute guy, I had some girlfriends, my last one was a gypsy girl, who I used to spend time with, she was awesome but beautiful she was great and wonderful, I have only kind words to say, people like me and she were like inseparable, we used to spend so much time at my house and clean and cook, I don’t have a job so my parents would give us money, we had a great time together but she decided to leave me for whatever reason. Every girl decides to leave a man is not because she hates him, she just wants something else for her. She needs new experiences she was younger than I am, and we would have a good time.

We like to spend time alone because we feel like we are not enough for the right person, when money comes between partners be sure it will be a disaster, money can’t replace love.

Money can buy you cars and cool stuff but money is not a feeling you can’t feel money that is absurd.

You can’t have feelings for cash I mean what the hell, I would love money but I would not love girls.

I would love money more than girls or myself, I would love profit. I would love to make a living, I would love work, I would love my job, this is insane, people don’t love the money they love the things money can buy them. Money is a good substitute for a person if you miss someone goes buy a frappucino and you will feel better.

Evil is the money that brings chaos and pain to its holders, Evil is the money who has spilled blood upon, evil is the money you give to buy people.

You had a bad day ❤️

Every time I see a good luck sign I wonder if that thing is specially made for me, I wonder if I own something, and I think about it day on and day in. I used to think at alot of things, I used to jave a lot of shit on my mind but now its just empty, I can’t think of anything straight up. I had alot of issues growing up as a kid, I had teeth problems and I also had a big head.
As a kid I always liked to climb trees. It was those years before the smartphones were invented. Everybody would go outside and play and I think that is brilliant.
People like me with my disorder have alot of uncommon things to do like , when you go ahopping or go to the casino or eat with friends, they really enjpy a good time, people like me are always furios at something, always raging on and on and on with complete nonsense.
We like to go outside and play, we like to hang out in the club, have sex, enjoy dinner parties and so on.
The complete guide to my profession is skill, a lot of skill, you need this to go up and not stay down, skill is mandatory in my profession.
I will soon start college and I wonder if I am going to do the same things I used to do. Because sometimes I feel like nothing is changed, we are all the same, every time, just like robots.

Look insode of you 🥺

We all have to look for someone eventually. I am not good with money, I spend alot of money on useless things, I do not like being poor. Also my addiction to slot machines is something I should worry about. I just try to live day by day and take whatever life throws at me, I don’t like being shy, and I don’t like being wrong. When I feel that I am right I hope to see another tomorrow. I guess we should walk a mile in each others shoes. To see what I see, to feel what I feel. I see sunshine and rain, I see people and places, I see memories and dreams, I see success and defeat, I see life and death. I see problems and solutions, I see rich famous people and poor beggars, I see the whole world collapsing to my body, I see the sun as it is, I see and touch and feel the rain as it showers upon us, just remember a bad day is not a bad life. Take things as they are, be respectful and humble, be nice and be polite, be rich not poor.
Find someone who feels like you and never let them go, find love, find happiness, find fulfillment, don’t be average and mediocre, be great and famous, stand tall and proud you are a piece of art, and artists never die. We love you.

I forgot I loved you.

 

To all the girls I loved to all the women I loved and to all the childhood memories I have, I need to let it all go, I need to forget everything, I need to let you go, I need to let our love go, I need to forget you.

I am not sorry I need to move on I need to leave the past behind me, I need to find new love, a new girl, a new woman to share my passion and devotion to, all my past girlfriends were awesome, all of you, I will never regret loving you but I need you to know that I have moved on and I am fine without you, I didn’t make this decision by myself you did too.

You decided to leave me so I decided to forget you. An eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth. If you leave me I forget you, If you cheat on me I will leave you and I will not be sorry about it. I can’t stand cheaters liars and so on…

Love is not easy, real love hurts, basic love heals, powerful love empowers, and so on… There are many kinds of love, which one would you choose? The love I’ve chosen to become is the love left in me by so many women that I have been with, all their gifts are with me anytime, I have left, loved, and forgiven so much, and I still have to love and forgive further in my life, all I need is a little patience and everything will be ok.

For all the heartbroken people out there I have a message: „Don’t lose hope, and don’t forget to forgive” Forgiving is the only medicine to a broken heart. Forgiving heals your heart and soul, forgiving is divine and its sent to us by God.

I have God in me as long as I forgive, when I stop forgiving I will probably die but I will die with my heart thinking at God… this is the way I want to die.

I will die a happy man, even if I die today and today was my last day, I would die a happy man.

I will start moving on, I will find love again, I will love again, with all my heart, never forget who I was but I’m dying to meet the new man I have become.

God Bless! 

My Path

My path was full of highs and lows of ups and downs, I have been defeated I have been victorious but sometimes I felt disappointed by the people I have loved, at the end of my life I would like to say that it was a cool ride, I loved it I was born to love all men and women and all life, I was born to love life. 

This is what I would say about me, that I’m a lover, I’m a gamer, and I will be a father, I will always rise again and again, life is a never-ending cycle, you win some you lose some, you win again and again and again until you won at life.

I feel like a winner because of the satisfaction I get from my work, I really feel like I’m doing the right thing, the thing that I was meant to do, I never felt this way before, it was like a cataclysm…

Until the day I leave this earth for you my loved ones I leave a trace of love and a path to follow me in my footsteps…

I leave kindness and love and appreciation, I leave a path of fulfillment and love and peace to all mankind and all living ones…

I leave a path not forgotten but forgiven… I leave a path of kings, a life of a great king… a life meant to be lived by only the strong and understood only by the bravest women.

My path is a path of love and peace of forgiveness and enjoyment, of pleasure and sadness…

My path was meant to be remembered.

I am remembered, I will not be forgotten, people will love me again.

 

The journey of a reformed man 🙂

I have been cheated, I have cheated on I was with many girls until now, I was with alot of girls…
Girls and women to me are like flowers, some bloom some remain small and some die young.
Women for me are like the wind, sometimes its fast, sometimes its steady and sometimes we miss it because its too hot outside.
Women today are made of ideas and literacy in fact they think in a way women from long ago did not even dream about. Women today think at men and boys and even girls. Women today feel the need for apreciation which they cannot find in other women. Women today need one man who cares about them and respects them. Women today need me. A happy woman is the most beautiful thing on earth. I want to make my woman happy. I want to be a great father, I want to win at life. I want to be happy. I don’t want to feel that void anymore. I got a void inside of me like a force field drawing everybody in. It feels amazing. But I am not ill. I am happy. I want to change, I want to see, I want to wake up, I want to wake up every morning thinking I am the luckiest man alive. I wish all men would look at women the way I do, they are so beautiful. A woman is like a flower like a vase like a buttercup. Women are so beautiful and soft they like to be the best just like me. Women love me for who I am not fpr who I pretend to be. A real woman will feel this. Real women love the fact that I can make them feel so real and so alive again. Women love the way I touch them and feel me for what I have become over the years, I have matured so much since I was a kid. Yesterday I talked about girls and now I talk about women. Thats life…

Hey guys, I’m back 🙂

Waddup people, I’m coming back to blogging after a long break.
I’ve been streaming and recording World of Warcraft videos and Heroes of the Storm.
Its been a while since we’ve met.
I am here to present you the all new and reformed man Asethabalanar which is me.
I am here to speak and talk about problems that might concern you or your loved ones.
People like me are very common.
I’ve been through some stages in life I can’t seem to be able to talk about right now.
Its been a while since we have talked and it keeps me going on through life.
It feels like all my life I have been living a lie.
I was lied to manipulated and used by people all my life.
Nobody understands me, I am sick, I have been lied to.
Everybody thinks they have a purpose until that purpose is gone.
I am here to write about my problems not to lie about them.
My life, my lie was all along with us in our adventures.
Nobody can tell me nothing.
I am here because I chose to, I can be my own man, I can cook, brew, drink, see , watch , hear and feel.
These things make up the best in me. I am so sorry I can’t be what you want. I am what I am. I am so sorry for it. People think I am crazy but I am not. Many of you think I should be gone. Well I ain’t gone yet. I’m here to stay.
People might say or do crazy things, but today I am stable.