New Vintage Post

I’m here to type back at you guys, it has been a long week with long hours of waiting, I got Covid-19 me and my family also , we are quaratined right now, we still have about 6 days until we can go out but its ok. We gonna see people hate that’s all I understand this people may hate but its ok.

People can hate us for what we are they can hate us for even what we have but it’s not enough, I need more, and the only thing I can do about it is to procrastinate, I am not lying to you guys, this is it the real shit, I can write all day about this and it can be ok, trust me on this one it will work.

Most people like to get comfortable with you and that is fine but until you start believing in yourself you ain’t going to have a life, start believing in yourself and everything will be fine guys.

I love you all and as my parents told me I am sick , a malicious disease came over me and its infecting, we are all waiting for the days to come.

I chose to be smart and intelligent

 

Everybody has a choice and the choices you make define you, for all the people out there who are struggling with depression and anxiety and fear and anger and cruelty. For all the people who suffer in this world, I tell you now, you have a choice to change your life, so stand out stand tall, talk about your anxiety, talk about your problems, talk about what hurts you. Talk about you, come out stand out talk about yourself, let me see you let me feel you let me trust you let me hear you…

Let me know you, let me know the real you, let your words be fluent and sound like the wind against the shore of a coastline.

I was born in Romania on 14 June 1992. I am but a kid who has grown up so fast it never really bothered me to ask myself where did I go wrong. I was born in a military hospital in Bucharest.

I was furious and frustrated I suffered for years and years without any hope, until one day someone came up to me and said, hey, bro, are you ok? I know you, you are not crazy, come be my friend, so from that day everything changed in my life, I stopped watching TV I stopped lying to myself that I was a bad person and a cheater, I stopped stealing money. I stopped ruining my life.

All good, until one day I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. I was devastated, I was a wreck I had a panic attack on the spot, I yelled to the world and to god why would you do this to me I’m only 18 years old. But then I found the cure, and doctors told me it was psychiatric medication… I started taking drugs, prescription drugs, I still take them today, it felt good for a while until you get the side effects. Those suck.

I had side effects from my medication and I think I still have some of those even today. I’m 28 now and I don’t have a child, I’m not married I had only four girlfriends all my life, two when I was sober and two when I was on medication, doctors told me I am bipolar and that I need treatment that I have anxiety and depression attacks and sometimes become a maniac…

Bipolar disease from what my doctor told me consists of having mental breakdowns with depression and maniacal episodes. I don’t feel like I’m a maniac right now, to be honest, but anyway, the doctor also told me that I have psychotic episodes and need treatment, medical treatment for a long time, and that was back in 2014. It’s been 6 almost 7 years since I take medical treatment for depression, anxiety, and mania.

Its been a while while I was on this medication, sometimes it was getting me high sometimes it was making me sleepy and sometimes I just feel very cold.

The coldness feeling that I get from time to time comes from the artificially created medication that I use, they are not natural, I mean my medication is not plant-based it’s artificially created by man to stop some functions of the brain and body from going crazy.

They say my medication is the only thing keeping me normal and sane. But I do not agree to that, I think what is keeping me normal and sane is the fact that I make myself busy every day, I write, I stream video games, and I keep a journal, these are the things that make me normal. Not medication, they say I can’t be normal anymore because I had a psychotic episode, I say they are crazy, the doctors are crazy to look what they did with COVID-19, the doctors are going insane, they are hallucinating, a person who keeps a journal, streams, and records video games, and writes on a blog is not crazy, he’s an intellectual, and I will get to the bottom of this godforsaken truth.

They tortured me in hospitals for 6 years and tell me I am still sick this in going in the wrong direction my friends, how much can we lie? how much can we manipulate people? how much can we keep them under control? how much and for how many years can we keep people dumb and asleep while the big guys go out and have fun, how much can we as humans kill, forget, and blame one another for our own made misery, our own made hate, and our own made diseases, this has to stop one day, and I will be there the day it ends…

We are here in this world to love

I was born in an uptown funk. I was born in Bucharest, in a military hospital. I was born healthy and wealthy, I was born a beautiful baby.
We are here in this world to love one another and never to disrespect anyone, we are here to grow old together to make peace on the planet earth. We are here to love your friends your family and your loved ones.
We are here to express our gratitude to the community to help us understand the meaning of life better.
We are here as individuals and as moralists, we are here to perpetuate our species and take into consideration the fact that we will never be this old again.
We are here to tell you that your flaws and intersection are beautiful. You are the one. You are the one who we have been looking for all these years, you are the one for me.

Who are you to judge? (Can I tell you how to live your life?)

I have been prominent with this fact lately that many people walk around mindlessly going all over the place where they shouldn’t actually be, like myself, for instance, I was down I was breaking, I was on the deepest pothole on the verge of a mental collapse I was everything you shouldn’t be, but I survive right? I survived what was and I will survive what is coming, therefore, I’m still here, I want to ask you some questions alright?

What if your life started from old age and continued to birth?

What if your mother does not love you?

What if your life was meant to please others?

What if I told you that you actually have 0 power of will?

What if I said some nasty things about you behind your back?

What if we will not ever find true love in this world?

What if we are actually aliens who have been born to earth to populate it to give this planet a meaning?

What if we have never experienced this before? What if I am Don Juan?

What if women like and want me for being tall and handsome and big and juicy?

What if I told you that this was a joke and you shouldn’t have read this at all?

What if this world in its chaos will sometimes deliver the most beautiful flowers to us at the best unexpected time and in the most unexpected place?

What if this world was made to create other worlds, what if I am beautiful?

Why do I have so many questions you should ask? Well I am here, breathing, alive, and I’m not rude to anybody so it’s true chaos out there there is nothing under control, nothing at all, we just fly like mosquitoes on our nearest target or victim, we just fly aimlessly into nothing, we will collapse from nothingness if we continue this way, but it’s all about cause and effect, isn’t it? Right, we cause something, therefore, we suffer the consequences of our own actions, this should be repeatable enough.

Have a great day ladies and gentlemen!

Let the pain out

Sometimes survival mechanisms pop-out into nothing, sometimes survival mechanisms control us, we are still part animals part mammals part human, part cyborg, we use this technology for our benefit, not for our destruction, we need to benefit from this, either financially or horoscopically, we need to get things done like right now.

We must wake up, wake up from this matrix, wake up to the universe, wake up to the star seed, we are the star seeds and we must survive at all costs, we must reproduce we must flourish we must live to see another day we must get up in the morning and go to work, work for your cause, work for your ambition, work for your inner being, work on anything that you love and care about.

We must go to work, that is the pain I feel. That I have to work to survive, if I didn’t work I would be a loser with no job or a car or an apartment, I would be homeless, that is my biggest fear and regret anyway, that I would end up homeless without a car, a wife or a job.

This writing keeps me up late at night knowing that everything is going to be alright and I don’t have to starve to death in my late years.

My parents will leave me they will go to the countryside they might die also, maybe unexpectedly or maybe from old age, I don’t know.

I wish my parents will live to see me get well and have a home a family and children.

Wish my family would see me as a father and not a kid, I wish they would understand that I am not like a common kid, I’m not like everybody, I am myself, I am a Starseed.

I wish I could tell you guys about this, in my late teens I had a mental breakdown and from that my parents thought I was crazy and they took me to the hospital several times until now and they think I am a lunatic and they yell at me and shout because I am different from them because I have my own cause to fight for because I have my own pain, my own karma, my own life, I can be independent you know.

I live life day by day trying to build something for my own, trying to build an empire from the ashes of a forgotten world, a forgotten country, and a forgotten man, I don’t care if anybody loves me, the pain I feel today is breaking me down to bits.

Life is hard when you have no one to talk to so this is why I am sending you this message, I live with my parents and my brother in an apartment in Romania, my dad is stupid, my mom is great, my brother ignores me, without regret.

My dad is shouting, he thinks I’m aloof, but to me, my dad is always the best, I still love him but he has some issues and problems he’s kind of old now and has a very negative thinking method, he is always ready to go to war he always wants to brag about me and how much I smoke, he says that I smoke his money, that I don’t earn enough for me, that I am a wreck and crazy and stuff like that.

I will always love my dad no matter what, and I know in my heart that he is a good man but I have to keep some distance from him because I think he is a dangerous man.

He hit me once and I never want to go back to that, he shouts at me but I never raise my voice at him, I never say a word, you don’t get what you give, you can always get what you deserve.

This is the end of this story I hope you liked it.

This is me in a human form

I am here to take good care of you.
I am here to make you blush.
I am here to talk to you.
I am here to make you happy.
I am here to be alive with you now.
I am here to make things happen and count in your life.
I am not a human being.
I am more of that so that you may know the truth behind the veil of existence.
This reality is a dream. Made for you so that when you wake up you will be reborn from the ashes of eternity.
This is not you right now. This is the inner peace of the cosmos speaking in a human form.
This is mother earth which guides all human form into existence and penetrates all things alive on human race.
This is not something that will take you into another dimension. This is the evil spurking out of you while you sleep.
This is great as a fact of conclusion I have been in the wrong place at the wrong time before in my whole entire life I could not say or state the fact that I have been resurrected as before into being by mother nature as a human being on this earth.
This is what I call on you human.
I will obey the call of Asethabalanar and I will state that I am a forsaken troop into being the greatest manifestation of myself on earth.
This cannot come to a conclusion as before I bore the aspect of a dragon now I am here to teach you the ruins of mother earth.
This comes to mind when fulfilling the thing I love the most here.
I have a planetary vision of what should have been and what should have happened before us.
We are earth, we are nature, we are beings.
We have been here before and will be again soon into the wild.
We have the option to be the best version of ourselves so the next generation of babies will be reborn by the mother phoenix into existence once more.
This cannot happen if we all stick together as cattle, we have to run from the madness of existence into the planetary vision of earth’s crust.
We cannot control everything, Everything controls us.
We have to be patient with ourselves in order to maintain eye contact.
We should be fine, I love you and I wish you a very good time with yourselves.
Be patient, earth has our aid.