Karma is a bitch

For all the haters out there there is just one thing I want to say, be careful, be wary, what you say can and will be used against you anyway, you can’t escape fate, if you will somebody will knock you out, I know my mistakes the mistakes I have made are mine to bear but if you wrong somebody and expect to just get away , this means you have not read Crime and Punishment, this is not my law but once you start feeling this shit there is no escape, you can’t run from earth where will you go? To mars? is this a joke, somebody will laugh at you so hard you won’t even believe that this is actually happening, somebody will tell you all you need to know about this reality and planet earth, somebody will tell you the truth, your truth, karma is unforgiving but sometimes you just need to step back and check you conscious because that is the only real thing you have.

The Start of a New Age

The end is near I can feel it, sometimes we want something so bad we are willing to give everything for it, it’s not the chance for me, I have been destroyed by incompetence and hate I have been murdered by ignorance and evil, I personally thought If I am good enough I will survive, well, that has happened I survived, and you could survive too if you want it bad enough, you have to want it man, like really really bad to make it, people ain’t fair I know but you have the power you are the owner of your own soul, control yourself and never let go of the past, it’s a trick I use to trick my mind into believing that if I forget the past it will go away, it never goes away, not this way anyway, it never goes away the past was/is/and/there will be anyway so instead of forgetting the past you should learn to let go of the past, this is the difference between life and death situations, do not forget your past but instead try to let go of it, it’s easy , everybody can make it, and you will make it with my help, as long as I am alive I swear this oath to you, I will do my best in trying to help you out by any means necessary, I will save your life if I have to just to let go…

If you want this come be by my side, and together we will rule the world in peace and prosperity, if not then I feel sorry for you bro, take care.

I’m back bitches

Hello World It’s me Asetha yo boy Asethabalanar I’m a cryptocurrency maniac and I come home for you to bring me back to life.

Hell yeah I’m going all the way in on this one.

Hell yeah I’m coming back again to spend the money I have.

Hell yeah You will see me crying this time.

Hell yeah I’m so good at it.

Hell Yeah you will love it.

Boys, come on let’s get some moving, go on be on hell one.

Come on guys come on. Go on move on cry on.

Boys be back on my shit.

Come on guys and girls we got this.

Hell yeah man, go boys go girls go everybody.

Save the idiot planet.

Come on man we on.

Play with my feelings

 

I’m a cute guy, I had some girlfriends, my last one was a gypsy girl, who I used to spend time with, she was awesome but beautiful she was great and wonderful, I have only kind words to say, people like me and she were like inseparable, we used to spend so much time at my house and clean and cook, I don’t have a job so my parents would give us money, we had a great time together but she decided to leave me for whatever reason. Every girl decides to leave a man is not because she hates him, she just wants something else for her. She needs new experiences she was younger than I am, and we would have a good time.

We like to spend time alone because we feel like we are not enough for the right person, when money comes between partners be sure it will be a disaster, money can’t replace love.

Money can buy you cars and cool stuff but money is not a feeling you can’t feel money that is absurd.

You can’t have feelings for cash I mean what the hell, I would love money but I would not love girls.

I would love money more than girls or myself, I would love profit. I would love to make a living, I would love work, I would love my job, this is insane, people don’t love the money they love the things money can buy them. Money is a good substitute for a person if you miss someone goes buy a frappucino and you will feel better.

Evil is the money that brings chaos and pain to its holders, Evil is the money who has spilled blood upon, evil is the money you give to buy people.

My addiction to slot machines and casinos

I just lost 10 ron at the local casino, I am addicted to gambling, I have this addiction for a few years now, I can’t stop playing from time to time, I have been a few times now, I don’t gamble or bet every day, its just there, my addiction, I lost all my money on a slot machiene, the money my dad worked for I lost them in 2 minutes, I felt so used and useless I feld so bad that I lost my money and I thought I should share this feeling with you.
It feels empty, it feels like nothing is in you or around you, its just pointless to play anymore, I feel and felt so bad for betting my 10 lions or ron, I feel stupid now, now I know where all the stupid shit comes from, the casino. I need to quit this and save my money it really hurts to know that I still play this since 2016. Its been a long time coming, this addiction of mine is really there and I need to overcome it, I need to find new ways to spend my money on, the casino is not the solution, I am sorry…

Hey guys, I’m back 🙂

Waddup people, I’m coming back to blogging after a long break.
I’ve been streaming and recording World of Warcraft videos and Heroes of the Storm.
Its been a while since we’ve met.
I am here to present you the all new and reformed man Asethabalanar which is me.
I am here to speak and talk about problems that might concern you or your loved ones.
People like me are very common.
I’ve been through some stages in life I can’t seem to be able to talk about right now.
Its been a while since we have talked and it keeps me going on through life.
It feels like all my life I have been living a lie.
I was lied to manipulated and used by people all my life.
Nobody understands me, I am sick, I have been lied to.
Everybody thinks they have a purpose until that purpose is gone.
I am here to write about my problems not to lie about them.
My life, my lie was all along with us in our adventures.
Nobody can tell me nothing.
I am here because I chose to, I can be my own man, I can cook, brew, drink, see , watch , hear and feel.
These things make up the best in me. I am so sorry I can’t be what you want. I am what I am. I am so sorry for it. People think I am crazy but I am not. Many of you think I should be gone. Well I ain’t gone yet. I’m here to stay.
People might say or do crazy things, but today I am stable.

Free Humanity

This is my first post, by the end of the day I am glad I have made it through, I am happy with what I have acomplished, I am happy with myself, writing has given me such a privilege to express myself honestly not lying to myself.
I have come here to make a wish that some day I will be free from drugs.
I am keen to say that I want to stay clean and maybe just maybe start a new fresh life drug free.
I can honestly express myself only if I am not taking medicine I am sedated by drugs, I want to feel real love. I came to say that being alive is more important than being right , I am free because I choose to be this way not because my condition, I have a clear mindset and I am ready to face life’s challanges.
I am glad I made it here on this blog I can write my heart out.
Please be patient with me world because I am in full process of recovery.

Am I crazy? Or I am not crazy?

Let’s begin with a little issue I have, I went to the doctor and said to me I have a psychotic episode, after that, they changed their minds saying I am bipolar, and I was like ok but I don’t feel different at all…

First of all, I was diagnosed with psychotic episodes after that they put it in the psychotic episode with influences in schizophrenia and after that, they told me I was bipolar. Can they make up their minds? What do I have, am I really crazy? Can I take a test saying I am not crazy? How do they judge when they put the stamp calling someone insane for having his own beliefs? How do you tell a person is crazy or not, how can they judge you like that? How do they know for real? How can they be 100% sure that I have a psychotic episode or schizophrenia or I am bipolar, how can they tell for real? I am just as normal as you are, am I afraid? Yes, I am, do you want to know why? Because people have this ability to stock their finger in your face and tell you you are insane for believing different than them, If I believe in Buddha and my father believes in Jesus what is the point in all this, am I the insane one or he is? You can never truly tell if a person is insane or not do you know why? Because that person has it’s own beliefs and it’s own judging capacity, nobody wants to be in a stray jacket, nobody wants to be locked down or to be tied to a bed, nobody wants to be isolated in a building because they say you are insane. Nobody wants to sit in jail, nobody wants to be insane, everybody wants to be free ok?

This is for real if they tell you that you are insane or they diagnose yourself with a mental disease you are probably going to get locked up. They treat you like you are in a penitentiary, you are not allowed to call or have any contact with the outside world, you just sit there with a bunch of crazy people (just like you) and stare at the walls, of the building, they say you are insane to have a reason to tie you up, to lock you up like in prison saying you are a threat to society. Is that even true? I mean I didn’t hurt anybody but there I am locked in a mental hospital because I choose to have my own rights and privileges, because I wanted to make a change, because I wanted to show people there are many ways you can view a problem, but people are so limited man you can never tell if he’s actually speaking the truth or even lying to oneself…

The beer is restricted I am not allowed to drink alcohol, I am not allowed to drive, I have to take medicine in the morning and by nightfall. I usually take my medicine at about 8:30 am, and the other one at about 9 pm.

I take pills in the morning and I take pills at night so I can sleep better, lol.

Like I have a problem man this is insane how people judge you, do you sleep, do you believe, do you breathe? How can somebody tell me I am insane if all I do is mind my own business, people should research this on the web, I’m not saying that doctors are bad I’m just saying that they are evil, they do not have the capacity to judge because it has been taken from them.

I don’t want to talk about stuff, ok?

Sometimes is better to a hut up and close your eyes, turn the other cheek around just so you don’t hurt people who loved you, not in my case naah, words can hurt and will hurt if you let them.

Sometimes is better to just mind your own business and don’t hurt anybody sometimes it’s better to be the sheep than the Shepherd or just make it look that way anyway, nobody knows what you are thinking right? Well, we all are here on earth to prove something right?

We are here to prove who’s the alpha male, to prove yourself to the community to prove you are the best, ain’t we alpha males?

Well, we all would want that, but what if we ain’t got it in us to be the alpha male? What if we are the sheep and the alpha male is out there roaming around, what if we ain’t good enough for them?

I’m here to prove you wrong, you are good enough you just don’t know it yet, you just let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good, and when things get hard you look for something to blame like a big shadow that you see on different people’s faces.

You just do that because you think you ain’t good enough for this world that we live in, and I’m here to tell you that you are probably right, you may not be good enough today, but I promise you if you work hard on your goals and dreams you might make it one day, maybe that day is not today but someday you might actually make it and you will shout to the world „Thank You God” because without you I would be nothing at all.

This sums up my response to, sometimes it’s better to shut up than give in to people who don’t value or respect you, just shut up and show them your results instead of just talking about results, just show them 👍

Keep the peace brothers and sisters because I’m coming home ❤

Let the pain out

Sometimes survival mechanisms pop-out into nothing, sometimes survival mechanisms control us, we are still part animals part mammals part human, part cyborg, we use this technology for our benefit, not for our destruction, we need to benefit from this, either financially or horoscopically, we need to get things done like right now.

We must wake up, wake up from this matrix, wake up to the universe, wake up to the star seed, we are the star seeds and we must survive at all costs, we must reproduce we must flourish we must live to see another day we must get up in the morning and go to work, work for your cause, work for your ambition, work for your inner being, work on anything that you love and care about.

We must go to work, that is the pain I feel. That I have to work to survive, if I didn’t work I would be a loser with no job or a car or an apartment, I would be homeless, that is my biggest fear and regret anyway, that I would end up homeless without a car, a wife or a job.

This writing keeps me up late at night knowing that everything is going to be alright and I don’t have to starve to death in my late years.

My parents will leave me they will go to the countryside they might die also, maybe unexpectedly or maybe from old age, I don’t know.

I wish my parents will live to see me get well and have a home a family and children.

Wish my family would see me as a father and not a kid, I wish they would understand that I am not like a common kid, I’m not like everybody, I am myself, I am a Starseed.

I wish I could tell you guys about this, in my late teens I had a mental breakdown and from that my parents thought I was crazy and they took me to the hospital several times until now and they think I am a lunatic and they yell at me and shout because I am different from them because I have my own cause to fight for because I have my own pain, my own karma, my own life, I can be independent you know.

I live life day by day trying to build something for my own, trying to build an empire from the ashes of a forgotten world, a forgotten country, and a forgotten man, I don’t care if anybody loves me, the pain I feel today is breaking me down to bits.

Life is hard when you have no one to talk to so this is why I am sending you this message, I live with my parents and my brother in an apartment in Romania, my dad is stupid, my mom is great, my brother ignores me, without regret.

My dad is shouting, he thinks I’m aloof, but to me, my dad is always the best, I still love him but he has some issues and problems he’s kind of old now and has a very negative thinking method, he is always ready to go to war he always wants to brag about me and how much I smoke, he says that I smoke his money, that I don’t earn enough for me, that I am a wreck and crazy and stuff like that.

I will always love my dad no matter what, and I know in my heart that he is a good man but I have to keep some distance from him because I think he is a dangerous man.

He hit me once and I never want to go back to that, he shouts at me but I never raise my voice at him, I never say a word, you don’t get what you give, you can always get what you deserve.

This is the end of this story I hope you liked it.